Like a Feather in the Wind

Back around 1990, my life began changing.  I had heard, on more than one occasion, a radio ad touting “Do what you love and the money will follow.”  It got me to thinking about what I truly loved.  I had NO idea.  After much contemplation I decided on dance and took up ballet and jazz classes.  But…I was no ballerina.  This didn’t stop me from continuing down this path simply because it still FELT right.  As I continued on this path, the thing that changed in my life was my connection, or relationship, with Spirit.  I had been living my life like everyone else…with no conscious relationship with Spirit…with just a simple knowing or intuition.  But I was now receiving direct communication, rather “instruction”, from the divine.  I did not speak to anyone of this communication and just knew to trust and obey.  I’d grown up without any religious or spiritual influence and this inner knowing was just there, naturally.

Following one’s heart’s desire is not for the faint of heart.  But I did not stop.  I could not stop.  Once called, it can’t be uncalled.  I simply surrendered, not knowing what I was surrendering to, like a feather in the wind. 

Disappointments along the way stemmed from the expectations in the illusions of fantasy, fairytales and false hope…that all I’ll see on this journey is unicorns and rainbows.  You’ll see those and a whole lot more that you don’t see coming in the form of truths and lessons.  Hard truths, harsh lessons.

This 1990 round of awakening and ascension took me to homelessness, but not for long…two weeks, where I walked in grace with Father.  I think the thing that kept me going, that kept me positive in my walk with God was my positive outlook and trusting.  I didn’t know where my heart’s desire was taking me but I just knew it was something good.  I could feel it.

It’s now 2024, 34 years later…and I’m still following my heart’s desire under direct instruction of divine.  I am coming up on two years of homelessness, yet again, after a call to 911 for domestic violence with a sex crime and freeing myself from that victim matrix.  Housing is on the waitlist. 

Much is to be learned and experienced in homelessness.  Spirit had taken my car by this time and sent me on a Spirit Walk ladened with apprehension and uncertainty, calm and trust, knowing that no matter what I am protected and provided for, saying that I didn’t need a car where I was going, that this was going to be hard on me, and that I asked for it.  I left my apartment on foot with my dog and two backpacks.  It was midnight, 12:20 a.m. to be exact, on my 61st birthday, in the middle of winter.  I arrived at a mission two states away by bus about five days later.  I endured the mission for nine months.  It was not an easy place to be.  If I had had a car, I would have opted to live in it rather than at the mission.  But the mission was a part of my mission.  It was an opportunity to bear my cross and deepen my relationship with Father like never before.  It was in my best interest to experience this hardship and not run from it.

I transitioned into a microshelter community, which is one step up from the mission, and have been here just over a year.  This shelter has been a blessing in disguise.  It is a low barrier program that has given me the freedom to heal from trauma, isolate, rest, and be alone with God as I continue to free myself from all earthly attachments to the 3D matrix and to manifest what is in my heart’s desire.

Coming Home is about the journey, not the destination.  The journey IS the destination because once you reach Home, the journey continues.  There is no end.  Endings are simply the precursor to new beginnings.  It’s the circle of life…the sacred spiral.

We don’t know what God has in store for us…but HE does.  With every ounce and each step of the way, TRUST.  Surrender your will to His Will.  Listen closely, intently.  Let go.  Let God.  Be like a feather in the wind.